| Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist | | | | move on to number two, and so on, until you're |
| in nature, | | | | ready to tackle number ten or you just don't feel |
| nor do the children of men as a whole | | | | the fear is limiting you anymore. You may need |
| experience it. | | | | to adjust the items on your list to make them |
| Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than | | | | practical for you to actually experience. And if you |
| outright exposure. | | | | ever feel the next step is too big, then break it |
| Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. | | | | down into additional gradients. If you can lift 290 |
| To keep our faces toward change and behave | | | | pounds but not 300, then try 295 or even 291. |
| like free spirits | | | | Take this process as gradually as you need to, |
| in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. | | | | such that the next step is a mild challenge for you |
| - Helen KellerIn our day-to-day lives, the virtue of | | | | but one you feel fairly confident you can |
| courage doesn't receive much attention. Courage | | | | complete. And feel free to repeat a past step |
| is a quality reserved for soldiers, firefighters, and | | | | multiple times if you find it helpful to prepare you |
| activists. Security is what matters most today. | | | | for the next step. Pace yourself.By following this |
| Perhaps you were taught to avoid being too bold | | | | progressive training process, you'll accomplish two |
| or too brave. It's too dangerous. Don't take | | | | things. You'll cease reinforcing the fear/avoidance |
| unnecessary risks. Don't draw attention to | | | | response that you exhibited in the past. And you'll |
| yourself in public. Follow family traditions. Don't talk | | | | condition yourself to act more courageously in |
| to strangers. Keep an eye out for suspicious | | | | future situations. So your feelings of fear will |
| people. Stay safe.But a side effect of | | | | diminish at the same time that your expression of |
| overemphasizing the importance of personal | | | | courage grows. Neurologically you'll be weakening |
| security in your life is that it can cause you to live | | | | the limbic control over your actions while |
| reactively. Instead of setting your own goals, | | | | strengthening the neocortical control, gradually |
| making plans to achieve them, and going after | | | | moving from unconscious mouse-like to conscious |
| them with gusto, you play it safe. Keep working | | | | human-like behavior.The second approach to |
| at the stable job, even though it doesn't fulfill you. | | | | building courage is to acquire additional knowledge |
| Remain in the unsatisfying relationship, even | | | | and skill within the domain of your fear. |
| though you feel dead inside compared to the | | | | Confronting fears head-on can be helpful, but if |
| passion you once had. Who are you to think that | | | | your fear is largely due to ignorance and lack of |
| you can buck the system? Accept your lot in life, | | | | skill, then you can usually reduce or eliminate the |
| and make the best of it. Go with the flow, and | | | | fear with information and training. For example, if |
| don't rock the boat. Your only hope is that the | | | | you're afraid to quit your job and start your own |
| currents of life will pull you in a favorable | | | | business, even though you'd absolutely love to be |
| direction.No doubt there exist real dangers in life | | | | in business for yourself, then start reading books |
| you must avoid. But there's a huge gulf between | | | | and taking classes on how to start your own |
| recklessness and courage. I'm not referring to the | | | | business. Spend an afternoon at your local library |
| heroic courage required to risk your life to save | | | | researching the subject, or do the research online. |
| someone from a burning building. By courage I | | | | Join the local Chamber of Commerce and any |
| mean the ability to face down those imaginary | | | | relevant trade organizations in your field. Attend |
| fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that | | | | conferences. Build connections. Enlist the help of a |
| you've denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of | | | | mentor. Build your skill to the point where you |
| rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. | | | | start to feel confident that you could actually |
| Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of | | | | succeed, and this knowledge will help you act |
| being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of | | | | more boldly and courageously when you're ready. |
| physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of | | | | This method is especially effective when a large |
| success.How many of these fears are holding you | | | | part of your fear is due to the unknown. Often |
| back? How would you live if you had no fear at | | | | just reading a book or two on the subject will be |
| all? You'd still have your intelligence and common | | | | enough to dispel the fear where you're able to |
| sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, | | | | take action.These two methods are my personal |
| but without feeling the emotion of fear, would | | | | favorites, but there are many additional ways to |
| you be more willing to take risks, especially when | | | | condition yourself to overcome fear, including |
| the worst case wouldn't actually hurt you at all? | | | | neuro-linguistic programming, implosion therapy, |
| Would you speak up more often, talk to more | | | | systematic desensitization, and self-confrontation. |
| strangers, ask for more sales, dive headlong into | | | | You can research them via an online search |
| those ambitious projects you've been dreaming | | | | engine if you wish to learn such methods and |
| about? What if you even learned to enjoy the | | | | increase the number of fear-busting tools in your |
| things you currently fear? What kind of difference | | | | arsenal. Most of these can be easily |
| would that make in your life?Have you previously | | | | self-administered (implosion therapy is the notable |
| convinced yourself that you aren't really afraid of | | | | exception).The exact process you use to build |
| anything... that there are always good and logical | | | | courage isn't important. What's important is that |
| reasons why you don't do certain things? It would | | | | you consciously do it. Just as your muscles will |
| be rude to introduce yourself to a stranger. You | | | | atrophy if you don't regularly stress them, your |
| shouldn't attempt public speaking because you | | | | courage will atrophy if you don't consistently |
| don't have anything to say. Asking for a raise | | | | challenge yourself to face down your fears. In the |
| would be improper because you're supposed to | | | | absence of this kind of conscious conditioning, |
| wait until the next formal review. They're just | | | | you'll automatically become weak in both body |
| rationalizations though - think about how your life | | | | and mind. If you aren't regularly exercising your |
| would change if you could confidently and | | | | courage, then you are strengthening your fear by |
| courageously do these things with no fear at | | | | default; there is no middle ground. Just as your |
| all.What Is Courage?Courage is not the absence of | | | | muscles automatically atrophy from lack of use, |
| fear, but rather the judgment that something else | | | | so your courage will automatically decay in the |
| is more important than fear. | | | | absence of conscious conditioning.Now this may |
| - Ambrose RedmoonCourage is resistance to | | | | sound overly gloomy, so here's a positive way to |
| fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. | | | | look at it. Heavy weights can be a physical |
| - Mark TwainCourage is being scared to death, | | | | burden, but they are helpful tools to build strong |
| but saddling up anyway. | | | | muscles. You would not look at a 45-pound |
| - John WayneI like the definitions of courage | | | | dumbbell and say, "Why must you be so heavy?" |
| above, which all suggest that courage is the ability | | | | It is what it is. Heaviness is your thought, not an |
| to get yourself to take action in spite of fear. | | | | intrinsic property of the dumbbell itself. Similarly, |
| The word courage derives from the Latin cor, | | | | do not look at the things you fear and say, "Why |
| which means "heart." But true courage is more a | | | | must you be so scary?" Fear is your reaction, not |
| matter of intellect than of feeling. It requires using | | | | a property of the object of your anxiety.Fear is |
| the uniquely human part of your brain (the | | | | not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to |
| neocortex) to wrest control away from the | | | | the areas where you need to grow. So when you |
| emotional limbic brain you share in common with | | | | encounter a new fear within yourself, celebrate it |
| other mammals. Your limbic brain signals danger, | | | | as an opportunity for growth, just as you would |
| but your neocortex reasons that the danger isn't | | | | celebrate reaching a new personal best with |
| real, so you simply feel the fear and take action | | | | strength training.Catch a Glimpse of Your Own |
| anyway. The more you learn to act in spite of | | | | GreatnessEveryone has talent. What is rare is the |
| fear, the more human you become. The more | | | | courage to follow the talent to the dark place |
| you follow the fear, the more you live like a lower | | | | where it leads. |
| mammal. So the question, "Are you a man or a | | | | - Erica JongThe highest courage is to dare to |
| mouse?" is consistent with human | | | | appear to be what one is. |
| neurology.Courageous people are still afraid, but | | | | - John Lancaster SpaldingWhatever you do, you |
| they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who | | | | need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, |
| lack courage will give into fear more often than | | | | there is always someone to tell you that you are |
| not, which actually has the long-term effect of | | | | wrong. There are always difficulties arising that |
| strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a | | | | tempt you to believe your critics are right. To |
| fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, | | | | map out a course of action and follow it to an |
| this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces | | | | end requires some of the same courage that a |
| the mouse-like avoidance behavior, making you | | | | soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes |
| even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the | | | | brave men and women to win them. |
| future. So the more you avoid asking someone | | | | - Ralph Waldo EmersonSo what do you do with |
| out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel | | | | your newly developed courage? Where will it lead |
| about taking such actions in the future. You are | | | | you? The answer is that it will permit you to lead |
| literally conditioning yourself to become more timid | | | | a far more fulfilling and meaningful life. You will |
| and mouse-like.Such avoidance behavior causes | | | | truly begin living as a daring human being instead |
| stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you | | | | of a timid mouse. You will uncover and develop |
| reinforce your fear reactions to the point where | | | | your greatest talents. You will begin living far |
| it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to | | | | more consciously and deliberately than you ever |
| your fears. You begin taking your fears for | | | | have before. Instead of reacting to events, you |
| granted; they become real to you. You cocoon | | | | will proactively manufacture your own |
| yourself into a life that insulates you from all | | | | events.Courage is something you can only truly |
| these fears: a stable but unhappy marriage, a job | | | | experience alone. It is a private victory, not a |
| that doesn't require you to take risks, an income | | | | public one. Summoning the courage to listen to |
| that keeps you comfortable. Then you rationalize | | | | your innermost desires is not a group activity and |
| your behavior: You have a family to support and | | | | does not result from building a consensus with |
| can't take risks, you're too old to shift careers, | | | | others. Kahlil Gibran writes in The Prophet, "The |
| you can't lose weight because you have "fat" | | | | vision of one man lends not its wings to another |
| genes. Five years... ten years... twenty years pass, | | | | man." The purpose of your existence is yours |
| and you realize that your life hasn't changed all | | | | alone to discover. No one on earth has lived |
| that much. You've settled down. All that's really | | | | through the exact same experiences you have, |
| left now is to live out the remainder of your | | | | and no one thinks the exact same thoughts you |
| years as contently as possible and then settle | | | | do.On the one hand, this is a lonely realization. |
| yourself into the ground, where you'll finally | | | | Whether you live alone or enjoy the deepest |
| achieve total safety and security.But there's | | | | intimacy with a loving partner, deep down you |
| something else going on behind the scenes, isn't | | | | must still face the reality that your life is yours |
| there? That tiny voice in the back of your mind | | | | alone to live. You can choose to temporarily yield |
| recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to | | | | control of your life to others, whether it be to a |
| live. It wants more, much more. It wants you to | | | | company, a spouse, or simply to the pressures of |
| become far wealthier, to have an outstanding | | | | daily living, but you can never give away your |
| relationship, to get your body in peak physical | | | | personal responsibility for the results. Whether |
| condition, to learn new skills, to travel the world, | | | | you assume direct and conscious control over |
| to have lots of wonderful friends, to help people | | | | your life or merely react to events as they |
| in need, to make a meaningful difference. That | | | | happen to you, you and you alone must bear the |
| voice tells you that settling into a job where you | | | | consequences.If you commit to following the path |
| sell widgets the rest of your life just won't cut it. | | | | of courage, you will ultimately be forced to |
| That voice frowns at you when you catch a | | | | confront what is perhaps the greatest fear of all - |
| glance of your oversized belly in the mirror or get | | | | that you are far more powerful and capable than |
| winded going up a flight of stairs. It beams | | | | you initially realized, that your ultimate potential is |
| disappointment when it sees what's become of | | | | far greater than anything you've experienced in |
| your family. It tells you that the reason you have | | | | your past, and that with this power comes |
| trouble motivating yourself is that you aren't doing | | | | tremendous responsibility. You may not be able to |
| what you really ought to be doing with your life... | | | | solve all the woes of this planet, but if you ever |
| because you're afraid. And if you refuse to listen, | | | | do commit yourself 100% to the fulfillment of |
| it will always be there, nagging you about your | | | | your true potential, you can significantly impact |
| mediocre results until you die, full of regrets for | | | | the lives of many people, and that impact will |
| what might have been.So how do you respond to | | | | ripple through the future for generations to |
| this ornery voice that won't shut up? What do | | | | come.What is the difference between you and |
| you do when confronted by that gut feeling that | | | | one of those legendary historical figures who did |
| something just isn't right in your life? What's your | | | | have such an impact? You both had many of the |
| favorite way to silence it? Maybe drown it out by | | | | same fears. You both were born with talents in |
| watching TV, listening to the radio, working long | | | | some areas and weaknesses in others. The only |
| hours at an unfulfilling job, or consuming alcohol | | | | thing stopping you is fear, and the only thing that |
| and caffeine and sugar.But whenever you do this, | | | | will get you past it is courage. What you do with |
| you lower your level of consciousness. You sink | | | | your life isn't up to your parents, your boss, or |
| closer towards an instinctive animal and move | | | | your spouse. It's up to you and you alone.Catching |
| away from becoming a fully conscious human | | | | a glimpse of your own greatness can be one of |
| being. You react to life instead of proactively | | | | the most unsettling experiences imaginable. And |
| going after your goals. You fall into a state of | | | | even more disturbing is the awareness of the |
| learned helplessness, where you begin to believe | | | | tremendous challenges that await you if you |
| that your goals are no longer possible or practical | | | | accept it. Living consciously is not an easy path, |
| for you. You become more and more like a | | | | but it is a uniquely human experience, and it |
| mouse, even trying to convince yourself that life | | | | requires making the committed decision to |
| as a mouse might not be so bad after all, since | | | | permanently let go of that mouse within you. |
| everyone around you seems to be OK with it. | | | | Going after your greatest and most ambitious |
| You surround yourself with your fellow mice, and | | | | dreams and experiencing failure and |
| on the rare occasions that you encounter a fully | | | | disappointment, running butt up against your most |
| conscious human being, it scares the hell out of | | | | humbling human limitations instead of living with a |
| you to remember how much of your own | | | | comfortable padding of potential - these fears are |
| courage has been lost.Raise Your | | | | common to us all.The first few times you |
| ConsciousnessLife shrinks or expands in proportion | | | | encounter such fears, you may quickly retreat |
| to one's courage. | | | | back to the illusory security of life as a mouse. |
| - Anais NinCourage is the price that Life exacts | | | | But if you keep exercising your courage, you will |
| for granting peace. | | | | eventually mature to the point where you can |
| - Amelia EarhartYou gain strength, courage and | | | | openly accept the challenges and responsibilities of |
| confidence by every experience in which you | | | | life as a fully conscious human being. Continuing to |
| really stop to look fear in the face. You are able | | | | live as a mouse will simply hold no more interest |
| to say to yourself, "I have lived through this | | | | for you. You will acknowledge within the deepest |
| horror. I can take the next thing that comes | | | | recesses of your being, I have awakened to this |
| along." You must do the thing you think you | | | | incredible potential within me, and I accept what |
| cannot do. | | | | that will require of me. Whatever it costs me, |
| - Eleanor RooseveltThe way out of this vicious | | | | whatever I must sacrifice to follow this path, |
| cycle is to summon your courage and confront | | | | bring it on. I'm ready. Even though you will still |
| that inner voice. Find a place where you can be | | | | experience fear, you will recognize it for the |
| alone with pen and paper (or computer and | | | | illusion it is, and you will know how to use your |
| keyboard). Listen to that voice, and face up to | | | | human courage to face it down, such that fear |
| what it's telling you, no matter how difficult it is to | | | | will no longer have the power to stop |
| hear. (The voice is just an abstraction - you may | | | | you.Embrace the Daring AdventureBefore you |
| not hear words at all; instead you may see what | | | | embark on any path ask the question, does this |
| you should be doing or simply feel it emotionally. | | | | path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will |
| But I'll continue to refer to the voice for the sake | | | | know it and then you must choose another path. |
| of example.) This voice may tell you that your | | | | The trouble is that nobody asks the question. And |
| marriage has been dead for ten years, and you're | | | | when a man finally realizes that he has taken a |
| refusing to face it because you're afraid of | | | | path without a heart the path is ready to kill him. |
| divorce. It may tell you that you're afraid that if | | | | - Carlos CastanedaThe deeper that sorrow |
| you start your own business, you'll probably fail, | | | | carves into your being, the more joy you can |
| and that's why you're staying at a job that | | | | contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the |
| doesn't challenge you to grow. It may tell you | | | | very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? |
| that you've given up trying to lose weight | | | | And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the |
| because you've failed at it so many times, and | | | | very wood that was hollowed with knives? |
| you're addicted to food. It may tell you that the | | | | - Kahlil GibranInaction breeds doubt and fear. |
| friends you're hanging out with now are | | | | Action breeds confidence and courage. If you |
| incongruent with the person you want to be, and | | | | want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think |
| that you need to leave that reference group | | | | about it. Go out and get busy. |
| behind and build a new one. It may tell you that | | | | - Dale CarnegieAs you develop a sense of your |
| you always wanted to be an actor or writer, but | | | | true purpose in life, you may begin to feel an |
| you settled for a sales job because it seemed | | | | uneasy disconnect between your current life |
| more safe and secure. It may tell you that you | | | | situation and the one you envision moving |
| always wanted to help people in need, but you | | | | towards. These two worlds may seem so |
| aren't doing so in the way you should. It may tell | | | | different to you that you cannot mentally |
| you that you're wasting your talents.See if you | | | | conceive of how to build a bridge between them. |
| can reduce that voice to just a single word or | | | | How can you balance the practical reality of taking |
| two. What is it telling you to do? Leave. Quit. | | | | care of your third-dimensional obligations like |
| Speak. Write. Dance. Act. Exercise. Sell. Switch. | | | | earning money to pay your bills and taxes, |
| Move on. Let go. Ask. Learn. Forgive. Whatever | | | | pleasing your boss, raising your family, and |
| you get from this, write it down. Perhaps you | | | | maintaining social relationships with people who |
| even have different words for each area of your | | | | can't even relate to what you're experiencing vs. |
| life.Now you have to take the difficult step of | | | | the new vision of yourself you desperately want |
| consciously acknowledging that this is what you | | | | to move towards. A whole host of new fears |
| really want. It's OK if you don't think it's possible | | | | may crop up related to this seemingly impossible |
| for you. It's OK if you don't see how you could | | | | shift. How will you support yourself? What will |
| ever have it. But don't deny that you want it. You | | | | become of your relationships? Are you just |
| lower your consciousness when you do that. | | | | deluding yourself?The best advice I can give you |
| When you look at your overweight body, admit | | | | here is to forget about trying to build a bridge. |
| that you really want to be fit and healthy. When | | | | Focus instead on independently beginning the |
| you light up that next cigarette, don't deny that | | | | process of manifesting the new vision of yourself |
| you want to be a nonsmoker. When you meet | | | | from scratch, as if it were a totally separate |
| the potential mate of your dreams, don't deny | | | | thread in your life. If this creates a temporary |
| that you'd love to be in a relationship with that | | | | incongruence in your life, just do it anyway. For |
| person. When you meet a person who seems to | | | | example, suppose you currently work as a |
| be at total peace with herself, don't deny that | | | | divorce attorney, but your courage tells you that |
| you crave that level of inner peace too. Get | | | | you must eventually abandon such adversarial |
| yourself out of denial. Move instead to a place | | | | work. You envision yourself passionately teaching |
| where you admit, "I really do want this, but I just | | | | couples how to heal their broken relationships. But |
| don't feel I currently have the ability to get it." It's | | | | you can't even fathom yourself as a trial lawyer |
| perfectly OK to want something that you don't | | | | trying to speak about healthy relationships, and on |
| think you can have. And you're almost certainly | | | | top of that problem, you can't see any way to |
| wrong in concluding that you can't have it. But | | | | make a decent living in this new career, at least |
| first, stop lying to yourself and pretending you | | | | not quickly. There's just too big a disconnect |
| don't really want it.Move From Fear to Action, | | | | between this new vision and practical reality. So |
| Even if You Expect to FailWhen a resolute young | | | | instead of trying to bridge this gap, just begin |
| fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and | | | | building your new vision completely from scratch |
| takes him boldly by the beard, he is often | | | | in whatever time you have, even if it's only an |
| surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that | | | | hour or two each week. Keep doing your regular |
| it was only tied on to scare away the timid | | | | work as an attorney, but in your spare time, |
| adventurers. | | | | start posting anonymously on relationship |
| - Ralph Waldo EmersonMost of our obstacles | | | | message boards to give couples advice on how |
| would melt away if, instead of cowering before | | | | to heal their relationships. Use the oratory skills |
| them, we should make up our minds to walk | | | | you developed as an attorney to begin speaking |
| boldly through them. | | | | to small groups about healing relationships. Perhaps |
| - Orison Swett MardenCourage and | | | | create a new web site, and start writing and |
| perseverance have a magical talisman, before | | | | posting articles about your new passion. You don't |
| which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish | | | | have to hide the fact that you're an attorney, but |
| into air. | | | | don't worry about bridging these two worlds. Live |
| - John Quincy AdamsNow that you've | | | | in paradox. Just start developing the new you, |
| acknowledged some things you've been afraid to | | | | and allow the old one to continue in parallel for a |
| face, how do you feel? You probably still feel | | | | while.What will happen is that you'll develop skill in |
| paralyzed against taking action. That's OK. While | | | | your new undertaking, and you'll eventually be able |
| diving right in and confronting a fear head-on can | | | | to support yourself from it, even if you can't see |
| be very effective, that may require more | | | | how to do so right away. You may not be able to |
| courage than you feel you can summon right | | | | see a way to support yourself in your new vision |
| now.The most important point I want you to | | | | right now, and that's fine. Just begin it anyway, |
| learn from this article is that real courage is a | | | | doing it for free, without any concern of how to |
| mental skill, not an emotional one. Neurologically it | | | | turn it into a new full-time career. Patiently wait |
| means using the thinking neocortex part of your | | | | for clarity; you will eventually find a way to make |
| brain to override the emotional limbic impulses. In | | | | it work. Then when the time is right, you'll be able |
| other words, you use your human intelligence, | | | | to peacefully let go of the old career and focus all |
| logic, and independent will to overcome the | | | | your energy on the new one. At some point you'll |
| limitations you've inherited as an emotional | | | | be able to commit fully to your new self. Your |
| mammal.Now this may make logical sense, but it's | | | | passion for your new work will eventually |
| far easier said than done. You may logically know | | | | overwhelm your fear of letting go of your old |
| you're in no real danger if you get up on a stage | | | | source of stability. So instead of trying to |
| and speak in front of 1000 people, but your fear | | | | transform your old career into your new one, |
| kicks in anyway, and the imaginary threat | | | | just start the process of building your new one, |
| prevents you from volunteering for anything like | | | | and let your old one gradually fade. Even if you |
| this. Or you may know you're in a dead end job, | | | | can only invest an hour a week in your new |
| but you can't seem to bring yourself to say the | | | | undertaking, you will probably discover that this |
| words, "I quit."Courage, however, doesn't require | | | | hour is more fulfilling to you than all the other |
| that you take drastic action in these situations. | | | | hours put together, and that passion will drive you |
| Courage is a learned mental skill that you must | | | | to find a way to gradually grow this presence until |
| condition, just as weight training strengthens your | | | | it fills up most of your days. The most important |
| muscles. You wouldn't go into a gym for the first | | | | thing is to begin now by introducing your new |
| time and try to lift 300 pounds, so don't think that | | | | vision of yourself to your daily life, even if you |
| to be courageous you must tackle your most | | | | can only initially do so in a small way.No matter |
| paralyzing fear right away.There are two | | | | how difficult it may seem, make the choice to live |
| methods I will suggest for building courage. The | | | | consciously. Do not succumb to that |
| first approach is analogous to progressive weight | | | | half-conscious realm of fear-based thinking, filling |
| training. Start with weights you can lift but which | | | | your life with distractions to avoid facing what |
| are challenging for you, and then progressively | | | | you feel in those silent spaces between your |
| train up to heavier and heavier weights as you | | | | thoughts. Either exercise your human endowment |
| grow stronger. So tackle your smallest fears first, | | | | of courage and progressively build the strength to |
| and progressively train up to bigger and bigger | | | | face your deepest, darkest fears to live as the |
| fears. Training yourself to lift 300 pounds isn't so | | | | powerful being you truly are, or admit that your |
| hard if you've already lifted 290. Similarly, speaking | | | | fears are too much for you, and embrace life as |
| in front of an audience of 1000 people isn't so | | | | a mouse. But make this choice consciously and |
| tough once you've already spoken to 900.So grab | | | | with full awareness of its consequences. If you |
| a piece of paper, and write down one of your | | | | are going to allow fear to win the battle for your |
| fears that you'd like to overcome. Then number | | | | life, then proclaim it the victor and forfeit the |
| from one to ten, and write out ten variations of | | | | match. If you simply avoid living consciously and |
| this fear, with number one being the least | | | | courageously, then that is equivalent to giving up |
| anxiety-producing and number ten being the most | | | | on life itself, where your continued existence |
| anxiety-producing. This is your fear hierarchy. For | | | | becomes little more than a waiting period before |
| example, if you're afraid of asking someone out | | | | physical death - the nothing as opposed to the |
| on a date, then number one on your list might be | | | | daring adventure.Don't die without embracing the |
| going out to a public place and smiling at someone | | | | daring adventure your life is meant to be. You |
| you find attractive (very mild fear). Number two | | | | may go broke. You may experience failure and |
| might be smiling at ten attractive strangers in a | | | | rejection repeatedly. You may endure multiple |
| single day. Number ten might be asking out your | | | | dysfunctional relationships. But these are all |
| ideal date in front of all your mutual friends, when | | | | milestones along the path of a life lived |
| you're almost certain you'll be turned down flat | | | | courageously. They are your private victories, |
| and everyone in the room will laugh (extreme | | | | carving a deeper space within you to be filled with |
| fear). Now start by setting a goal to complete | | | | an abundance of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. So |
| number one on your list. Once you've had that | | | | go ahead and feel the fear - then summon the |
| success (and success in this case simply means | | | | courage to follow your dreams anyway. That is |
| taking action, regardless of the outcome), then | | | | strength undefeatable. |