| Dear Granny, | | | | we're going with that, and we wish you would too. |
| We know you mean well. Really, we do. And we | | | | Look, we understand back in your day kids wore |
| acknowledge that your well-meaning often | | | | special shoes and braces to straighten out their |
| translates into wonderful actions. You support | | | | feet. But lots of other kids didn't get those special |
| America's first-time moms with your experienced | | | | shoes and braces. And you know what? Most of |
| advice, you volunteer to watch grandkids when | | | | their feet straightened out just fine. Those that |
| they're too sick to attend daycare, and you have | | | | didn't straighten out completely had few long-term |
| taken on the noble responsibility of raising | | | | problems. Most could walk and run and jump and |
| grandchildren fulltime when their parents are sick | | | | skip just fine. Our doctor will keep an eye on the |
| or neglectful or imprisoned. What's more, you | | | | feet, and if he's concerned he'll send us to an |
| take on this job at a time when you should be | | | | orthopedic specialist. You voiced your concern. We |
| enjoying the freedom of retirement. For these | | | | heard it. Now, please, drop it. |
| actions, we salute you. Really, we do. | | | | One more example: Ears. The infections aren't our |
| However, it has come to our attention that at | | | | fault. We don't smoke around Little Johnny, and |
| other times your well-meaning has turned into | | | | he doesn't go to daycare anymore (since you |
| persistent nagging. In an effort to protect your | | | | agreed to watch him). Our pediatrician says those |
| grandchildren from the idiocy of their parents, you | | | | two things are the biggest ones we can control. |
| have gone overboard. Now before you dismiss | | | | The ear infections aren't from water or wind or |
| our complaint as the ramblings of a bunch of | | | | change of weather. They're from mouth bacteria |
| disrespectful youngins, please allow us to describe | | | | that get into the middle ear through the |
| a few concrete examples of the problem. | | | | Eustachian tube, a natural connection between the |
| Let's start with diet. Could you please limit your | | | | throat and ear. Little Johnny has a floppy |
| complaints to once a month? We know full well | | | | Eustachian tube. Bacteria go up the tube and get |
| that you believe Little Johnny is starving. But you | | | | trapped when the tube flops closed. Add a little |
| know what? We don't share your concern. It's | | | | mucus from smoke or allergies or viral infections, |
| okay if you feel his ribs. In case you haven't | | | | and the situation gets worse. You can't get rid of |
| noticed, there's a bit of a weight problem in | | | | the mouth bacteria--they're supposed to be there. |
| America today. Surprised? You shouldn't be. After | | | | Get rid of them and you'll invite thrush to grow, |
| all, how many years did you pile on the food and | | | | and we don't want that either. We'll keep doing |
| tell us to clean our plates? Our pediatrician tells us | | | | the antibiotics as long as our doctor tells us to, |
| it's healthy for toddlers to graze--as long as they | | | | and when he suggests surgery, we'll go with that. |
| get a healthy diet with all the food groups over | | | | The antibiotics don't stain teeth or stunt growth. |
| the course of several days. Eating only when | | | | Sure, antibiotic resistance is a problem. We |
| you're hungry and stopping when you're full is a | | | | understand that. We appreciate your keeping up |
| good habit to foster. Feeling guilty about throwing | | | | with the medical literature. Still, if our doc says it's |
| out left-overs is not. Sure, there are starving kids | | | | best to stick with them, that's what we'll do. |
| in other parts of the world. You taught us that. | | | | As we draw this letter to a close, please |
| What we didn't get was the connection between | | | | understand our aim is not to offend. After all, you |
| our table scrap and those starving kids. Were you | | | | were an excellent parent. You raised us. You have |
| going to box up the left-overs and send them to | | | | lots of experienced advice to share. But let's face |
| Africa? No. So please forgive us for skipping that | | | | it, raising four kids is not the same as seeing |
| lesson. | | | | 30-40 kids a day. Our pediatrician's advice wins |
| Next, let's talk feet. So what if they turn in or | | | | over yours. You may not agree with him. That's |
| point out a little? We'll show our doctor and we'll | | | | fine. But please, let it go and stop nagging us. |
| let him do an examine. If he says they're fine, | | | | |