Change or Do Nothing, the Choice is Always Mine to Make

"Good things happen slowly and bad things happenby our past choices. We have both the ability and
fast," the doctor in the Intensive Care Unit toldthe responsibility to make better choices beginning
Abigail Thomas. She had met the ambulance attoday."
the emergency room after her husband was hitOne of Jim's favorite sayings is, "Anything
by a car as he was taking the dog for a walk. Heworthwhile is never easy." The good that came
was eventually transferred to the ICU and thenfrom the tragedy in Ms. Thomas' life was
went on to live in various rehabilitation hospitals, inhard-won and took time. She had to make difficult
the effort to help them both adjust to living withchoices and then wrestle with guilt over those
the resulting, permanent brain damage. Ms.choices. She had to face her fears and take
Thomas tells of their experience in her book Asome new risks. She learned through active
Three Dog Life.experience what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Do
It only took a moment for the accident tonot be too timid and squeamish about your
forever change the lives of Thomas and heractions. All life is an experiment," as she forged a
husband. It took years for him to recover asnew direction for her life.
much as he ever would and for both of them toI like what Rohn said, "But while we curse the
adjust to their new lives. Through the pain andeffect, we continue to nourish the cause." I think
hardship that were a part of the recoveryabout areas of my life where I have to question,
process, good things came as well."Am I upset about the effect, the results I see
I was reminded of what the doctor told Ms.and don't like, but at the same time, am I
Thomas when I read this quote by motivationalnourishing the cause of those effects by not
speaker Jim Rohn, "What we ponder and whatmaking different choices? Am I being timid and
we think about sets the course of our life. Anysqueamish, letting fear and hesitation rule my
day we wish, we can discipline ourselves tochoices?"
change it all. Any day we wish, we can open theThomas could have responded to the tragedy
book that will open our mind to new knowledge.with anger, self-pity, and a victim mentality but
Any day we wish, we can start a new activity.she chose to respond with grace, dignity and
Any day we wish, we can start the process ofopenness to learning. Yes, at times there was
life change. We can do it immediately, or nextanger and self-pity, but she didn't let herself stay
week, or next month, or next year.there. I think that's the key. We're going to
We can also do nothing. We can pretend ratherexperience a variety of human emotions and
than perform. And if the idea of having to changereactions to things that happen to us but if we're
ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we canreally going to grow, we have to rise above them.
remain as we are. We can choose rest overOne of the things that has been most helpful to
labor, entertainment over education, delusion overme to keep things in perspective when bad things
truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices arehappen is to ask myself, "What can I learn from
ours to make. But while we curse the effect, wethis?" Then I have to remind myself that the
continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespearelearning process is just that -- a process, not an
uniquely observed, 'The fault is not in the stars,event -- and give myself some grace.
but in ourselves.' We created our circumstances