What Does Normal Mean Anyway?

I am not anyone special. Or so I thought. But welike these people." I would never hit rock bottom
are all special in our own unique way. And havinglike these people have. I am in complete control
anxiety and depression issues does not make meof myself and my "so-called" addictions. Once I
crazy, it makes me human. It's just notget through this program (voluntarily I might add),
something most people like to talk about becauseI would be fine. I never finished that Outpatient
it feels shameful and embarrassing.Program and 2 years ago I was diagnosed with
I had a drug addiction to Prescription pills for 10Borderline Personality Disorder.
years that had me feeling isolated, anxious,Talk about anxiety and depression all rolled into
depressed and extremely moody. The anxietyone! There was a sense of peace within myself
intensified once I tried to become clean. My sonhaving this diagnosis. Having a way to manage it.
was 10 at the time, I had been dating my currentStill, my episodes in the last two years have let
boyfriend (now my husband) for 5 years and Iwhat little support system I had, almost diminish. I
finally told him what was going on. "I have a drugtry. I really do, but when one is honest with
problem." He immediately jumped in, called myoneself, is that really the case? How do we know
insurance company to see what benefits I had,we tried our hardest? There is no book, no
and I was to start an Outpatient Rehabilitationtherapist to determine this, no ah-ha moment in
program immediately. I had to leave early fromyour brain saying "You did it Lady. You are finally
work which was very stressful in itself because Iat the point of trying your hardest." It's like that
was in sales, tell my 10 year old son (hoping heparenting book we all look for. It just doesn't
could handle it) that I would not be home everyexist.
night because of my drug problem, and overall,So if I had to have one last conversation to the
accept that it was okay to be a flawed; a verypeople in my life; the supportive, non-supportive,
flawed human being. Outpatient is often afterand loved ones, it would go something like this-I
work hours, but where I lived it was quite a hikeam sorry for the pain and suffering I have caused
to get there during rush hour, so I had to leaveall of you, and if I could, I would take it all away.
work earlier that I had anticipated.Alas, I cannot. So here is what is on my mind- If
Then came the dreaded meeting with HR and myanyone of you had any idea that I had a problem,
managers with the letter from the Rehab CenterI wish you would have spoken up. It might have
with the excuse as to why I had to leave workgiven me back those past 10 years of my life.
early for the next two weeks. That marked myBut I get it, you are all too angry from my past
first of many humiliating moments pertaining toactions to want to even try and understand what
my drug problems. I don't know why, but whenit is I deal with on a daily basis. People deal with
you say something out loud, "I have a drugthings differently, and I definitely fall under the
problem," it seems to have a bigger impact (incategory of not being able to deal with life and all
my mind at least) than if you just say it in yourthat it ensues.
head. My boyfriend was extremely supportive,Depression and Anxiety along with substance
but he insisted that I call my family members toabuse are not a healthy combination. With that
let them know what was going on. I did. Notbeing said, I hope that knowing what I continue to
exactly the support I had anticipated. There wasgo through on a daily basis, you will not let the
a lot of "Are you okay?" "Is there anything I cansame thing happen to someone else you care for.
do to help?" "I am so sorry". Blah, blah, blah isNo matter how painful it may be to talk about, or
what it sounded and felt like to me. I kept thinkingmaybe have an Intervention. Maybe if I had that
how awful this was that I had to make theselevel of support years ago, I would have saved
phone calls, and that once I got "better" mymyself and the others around me a lot of trouble
boyfriend was going to leave me because I wouldand suffering. I am the only one to blame here,
be too much to handle. My mind and thoughts arebut please remember that my definition of
racing at an amazing speed. None of these racingsupport is being there for someone you care
thoughts included the most important- I have aabout; no matter what. I have learned this
drug problem and had to get better. For me. Notthrough these past many years and as I deal with
anyone else. Just me.my Depression and Anxiety, I hope that you all
Now the physical effects of withdrawal arecan find it in your hearts to forgive me and give
excruciating. The headaches were almostour lives a second, third, fourth, fifth (whatever
unbearable, the stomach cramps, nausea, andthat number may be)a chance. For me personally,
throwing up, all just horrible. If I had just one ofI look back at my past actions as a cry for help
anything, any kind of pill, I would feel better. Butthat no one heard. So please keep your ears and
then that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Herehearts open to yourself and others that might
comes the fear and anxiety of knowing that Ineed help before it's too late. At least I am here
cannot take medicine and drink like a "regularanother day...
person." I would plead with God. "Please make itThank you so kindly for reading my thoughts and
stop and I will never do anything bad ever again.I hope that if this helps just one person reach out
Just please make the physical and mental painto another person, then I will have accomplished
stop!"something wonderful. And each and every day,
Social events, even something as normal as goingno matter how anxious or depressed I get, I get
to the neighbor's house made me so anxious thatto have this day and hopefully tomorrow,
all I could think about was drinking a bottle of winebecause if do not make today great, then what
to calm my nerves. Going to those AA and NAwould happen if tomorrow never came? And who
meetings during Outpatient Rehab did not helpwould be there to hug me and tell me that I am
either. I am not this bad off I kept telling myself."normal?
My husband would say the same. "You are not