When Ignorance Is Not Bliss - Not Being Prepared When Your Significant Other Dies

A patient of mine returned to the office afteramount should cover your house, your significant
two months of not being seen. I had only seenother's lifestyle and children's lifestyle, college
her once, before and I didn't know why sheeducation for the children, and funeral
stopped coming in for visits after that. I leftarrangements (the average cost for a basic
messages on her answering machine but did notfuneral is $5000-10,000).
receive any return call, and now here she sits in7. If you know where you want to be buried and
my office today.you have the money, consider purchasing your
As you can imagine, my first question was simple,gravesite and stone now. Think how much easier
"Where have you been and are you okay?" Herit will be for your loved one that he/she will not
reply was a flood of tears. And so today I writehave to worry about that part.
this article hoping that her story will help you.8. Introduce your significant other to your banker,
What happened was that she went to sleep,CPA, and attorney. Let's hope your marriage is a
woke up the next day, and went downstairs onlyfull disclosure marriage.
to find her husband sitting in his favorite chair,9. A smart investment to purchase is long-term
dead. Gone forever.health care insurance. This particular insurance
His book of life is closed, and now the patient willproduct should be purchased as soon as you can
begin a new but unwelcome chapter in her life. Heafford it, even if you are in your 30s. The
died of a severe heart attack, aneurysm, oryounger you purchase this insurance product the
stroke.cheaper the cost. Long-term insurance helps pay
The problem is that he didn't expect to die andfor the care you need when you can no longer
had not given his wife any information eithercare for yourself. It can protect your family's
about his passwords or about his business,financial future and your own investments and
insurance, and bank accounts. It turns out that hesavings. I have had the opportunity to see what
did not own the commercial property that housedcan happen to a family and their finances without
his business; he had two business credit lines thatlong-term care insurance. Most people do not think
were tied to his (now her) residence, and he hadthat disease and dysfunction will occur in their
other property and land with mortgage notes thatlives at an early age, but as we all know, life
needed to be met monthly.doesn't always work according to our plans. Can
Here's what you need to know. Life happens andyou imagine the difficulty you would face if you
death happens. Death is a touchier subject, muchhad to take care of a loved one who was really
more than life, but it's a part of life. This articlesick? Do you think you could bathe your parent
isn't a discussion about heaven or hell--it's anor significant other? I know you would like to say
article about those you leave behind."yes." But do you think you could, physically or
You need to prepare for that final dirt nap. If youmentally? Do you think you could quit your job
are married or have a soul mate, he/she shouldand provide care around the clock? Do you think
know about passwords, bank accounts, businessyou have the psychological capability to diaper one
deals and obligations, loans, and how to accessof your parents? Or, worse yet, would you want
your life insurance.one of your children cleaning your behind or
To avoid the situation my patient experienced Iputting a diaper on you? It truly would not be fair
recommend the following action steps:to them. It would be very taxing physically,
1. Copy all your passwords down and keep themmentally, and financially. With this type of
in files. Make sure your significant other knowsinsurance you or your family members will not
how to access these files.have to provide this type of care personally. This
2. If you are married or have a significant other,insurance will also help with nursing facility care.
there is no reason to hide your business deals orTake a closer look at this type of insurance. I
obligations. Make sure your significant other knowssuggest purchasing it when you are young
whom you are obligated to pay and who owesbecause you'll get a better rate. The premium
you money.rises exponentially as you get older.
3. Consider working with an attorney to set up a10. And for those left behind, get help for yourself
trust to protect your assets. Many people areand your family especially if you have kids. Seek
creating family trusts for further financialbereavement counseling. It is difficult to lose a
protection.loved one. I never believe time heals--I just
4. Create a living will. Although some people maybelieve you adapt to the situation.
consider death a morbid subject, you shouldMarcel Proust, the French novelist most famous
ideally create a living will where directives arefor his work Remembrance of Things Past, once
given regarding keeping you alive. Some folks justsaid, "We say that the hour of death cannot be
can't let go. What they don't realize is how itforecast, but when we say this we imagine that
affects family members and how much it willhour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It
cost. You should discuss with your significant othernever occurs to us that it has any connection
how you feel about medication and procedures towith the day already begun or that death could
keep you alive.arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is
5. Create directives on where you want yourso certain and which has every hour filled in
belongings to go. If possible, create a DVD listingadvance."
your directives and give a copy to your attorney.Last but not least, end every night with an "I love
6. If you don't have life insurance, consideryou," for you never know what tomorrow will
purchasing a plan for your family. The benefitbring.