| "Why?" seems like a good question,
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| | could I take towards that?" (You may be
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| doesn't it? I certainly used to think so.
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| | wondering about asking "Why?" of others
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| I've asked "Why?" often in my life so I
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| | or them asking it of you. It has the same
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| must have thought it was a good question.
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| | effects! It doesn't work well in those
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| Or maybe I never had thought about it or
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| | situations either.) "Why?" is useful for
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| noticed what happened when I asked that
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| | scientific inquiries (and perhaps in
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| particular question. Over time, I've gone
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| | therapy). However, it doesn't help us
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| from the questions of a toddler (Why is
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| | create happy, fulfilling, passionate
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| the sky blue?) to the questions of a
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| | lives with warm, loving relationships.
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| child (Why did my dog die?) to the
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| | And isn't some version of that what we
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| questions of an adult ("Why did that man
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| | all want? What Else Can You Do? If you
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| break up with me?). "Why?" used to be one
| |
| | take "Why?" out of your vocabulary, what
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| of my favorite questions. Not any more. A
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| | in the world do you say or do instead?
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| few years ago someone offered me a very
| |
| | One option is to just notice. If you want
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| different perspective on "Why?" I started
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| | something, if you light up about
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| paying attention to what happened when I
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| | something, if you're passionate about
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| asked myself or others this simple
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| | something, if someone does something you
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| question. I noticed that "Why?" was very
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| | don't like, accept that is what is.
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| seldom a useful question. In fact, I
| |
| | Trying to find out why is just a
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| discovered it was often a question that
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| | distraction. Another option is to ask
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| worked against me. Now I do my best to
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| | different questions. Rather than "Why?"
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| not ask myself or others "Why?" Why Not
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| | ask questions that expand, questions that
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| Ask Why? In your internal conversations,
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| | look forward such as: * What can I do
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| are you asking yourself "Why?" on a
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| | next? * What do I love about this? * What
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| regular basis? Why do I want that? Why am
| |
| | will help me to create that? * What do I
|
| I feeling depressed? Why can't I be
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| | want to do now? * What can I learn from
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| satisfied with the job I have? Why can't
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| | this? * What do I really want in this
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| I figure out what I want in life? Why did
| |
| | situation? * What's the lesson here? *
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| I say that? Though you may not realize
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| | How can I do something different the next
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| it, (I certainly didn't!) there's a
| |
| | time? * Who could help me with this? In
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| judgment implied in the question. "Why?"
| |
| | Your Life I do believe you'll find not
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| is really more like "What's the matter
| |
| | asking "Why?" to be very helpful. It's a
|
| with me?" or "Why can't I be different
| |
| | small shift that can make a big
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| than I am?" When you ask yourself "Why?"
| |
| | difference. Here's how you can start to
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| you experience (subtly or not so subtly)
| |
| | play with this idea. 1) Check it out for
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| one or more of the following: * You're in
| |
| | yourself. Notice what happens when you
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| your head: analyzing, trying to figure
| |
| | ask yourself or others "Why?" Can you
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| out the answer. Even if you don't know
| |
| | sense a subtle or not so subtle judgment
|
| (and much of the time we truly don't know
| |
| | in the question? How does this question
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| the "real reason" we're thinking, saying,
| |
| | affect you and your energy? What does it
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| doing, or wanting something) you'll do
| |
| | do to your ability to take action toward
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| your best to come up with an answer. Even
| |
| | what you truly want? How does it impact
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| if you have to make it up! * You hear the
| |
| | your interactions with others? You don't
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| implied judgment and so you start down
| |
| | have to do anything different yet. Just
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| that road. You criticize or blame
| |
| | see for yourself how this question works
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| yourself. You rationalize. You justify.
| |
| | or doesn't work in your life. 2) Now try
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| You feel defensive, bad, wrong, or
| |
| | experimenting with some alternatives.
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| wronged. * Your energy is drained.
| |
| | When you catch yourself asking or getting
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| Rarely, rarely, rarely do you get an
| |
| | ready to ask "why?" make a different
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| answer to "Why?" that helps you move
| |
| | choice, such as I suggested in "What Else
|
| forward. More likely, asking "Why?" will
| |
| | Can You Do?" Notice what happens when you
|
| get you stuck and off track. It takes
| |
| | say or do something different. 3) If you
|
| your focus away from where you're going
| |
| | like what happens when you don't ask why,
|
| and how to get there, leaving you
| |
| | make a commitment to drop "Why?" from
|
| circling around in your mind. Asking
| |
| | your vocabulary. Over time, this will be
|
| "Why?" stops you. It gets in the way of
| |
| | easier and easier to do. If you want to
|
| creating more of what you truly want. I
| |
| | get unstuck... If you want to move
|
| have seen this with clients when they
| |
| | forward in your life... If you want to
|
| discover something that lights them up.
| |
| | have more ease and fun along life's
|
| They immediately start asking "Why do I
| |
| | journey.. stop asking "Why?" I think
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| want that?" or "Why does that light me
| |
| | you'll be pleasantly surprised at the
|
| up?" "Why?" is truly an unanswerable
| |
| | results. Enjoy!
|
| question when it comes to what lights you
| |
| | Bonnie McFarland works with women at
|
| up and your passions. They simply are
| |
| | midlife who are bored, stuck, or restless
|
| what they are. More useful questions at
| |
| | and wondering what to do with the rest of
|
| this point would be "What does that look
| |
| | their lives. Visit for her free e-book
|
| like?" and "What could I do to have more
| |
| | and ezine to create more pleasure,
|
| of that in my life?" and "What small step
| |
| | passion, and purpose in your life.
|
